Grief, 22 months later. I had a dream last night. I haven’t seen another person in four days. I’ve been sick. Flu, then weak and exhausted, not eating much and dragging myself around the house. Missing my husband terribly. I’m still pushing through the grief; I realize it’s been a constant effort, propping myself up with busyness – good busyness but busyness nonetheless. Alone these … Continue reading Still picking up the pieces
“The rain to the wind said, You push and I’ll pelt.’ They so smote the garden bed That the flowers actually knelt, And lay lodged–though not dead. I know how the flowers felt.” ― Robert Frost Continue reading Visual Quotation 77/Buffeted
When my husband passed away in March 2016 I felt abandoned, left behind to fend for myself. Now, leaving the year 2016 behind, I feel an easing of my grief. But I do not want to leave him behind; I want him always in my present. Perhaps I am getting near to that place where I can keep him close while moving forward. Combining my current … Continue reading Left Behind
Emergence – the process of coming into being. When I awoke on December 1 it was as if I had opened the wrong door. The door to December 2015 instead of December 2016. It opened to a space filled with all the anguish, fear, love, and poignancy of twelve months ago. A month that drew on a deep well of reserves that I didn’t know … Continue reading Emergence
The coming of Fall heralds more change. So much has changed in the last months. The most difficult of changes is me – discovering, accepting, my life without my other half. Combining my current state of grief with my pastimes of art and gardening has produced this series. Please click on the image for a better view. Continue reading Change
It’s been seven months. The constant pressure of my grief has abated but I don’t feel ready yet to let go of the pain. The pain tethers me to him, it’s what keeps me close to him. My grief raises its head at strange and unexpected moments. Today it was chili. He always made the chili. But it was a chili kind of day today … Continue reading Pain
Some days I spend so much energy fighting the loneliness and fear that I have nothing left. Combining my current state of grief with my pastimes of art and gardening has produced this series. Please click on the image for a better view. Continue reading Depleted
Just when I think there are no more tears left, something like an anniversary comes along. I woke this morning with my eyes already welling with tears and as I blinked they escaped and dropped to pool on my pillow. Today marks the day I fell in love with my husband. Just like that. Over dinner. Combining my current state of grief with my pastimes of art and … Continue reading Desiccated
A memory is triggered and becomes physical pain and I feel like I have been fooling myself in believing that I am working through this grief. Combining my current state of grief with my pastimes of art and gardening has produced this series. Please click on the image for a larger view. Continue reading Mourning
The thing about grief, even as I have begun to incorporate ‘widow’ into who I am so that it no longer surprises me when I wake up each morning, my eyes still tear at the simplest moments, like looking at the box of oatmeal because that’s what he had for breakfast each morning. Combining my current state of grief with my pastimes of art and … Continue reading Anguish
Combining my current state of grief with my pastimes of art and gardening has produced this series. Please click on the image for a larger view. Continue reading Empathetic
Combining my current state of grief with my pastimes of art and gardening has produced this series. Please click on the image for a larger view. Continue reading Supplicant
Combining my current state of grief with my pastimes of art and gardening has produced this series. Please click on the image for a larger view. Continue reading Fragile
Combining my current state of grief with my pastimes of art and gardening has produced this series. Please click on the image for a larger view. Continue reading Exposed
Combining my current state of grief with my pastimes of art and gardening has produced this series. Continue reading Isolated
Some of you already know that I recently lost my husband. These last months have been filled with a range of emotions as I struggle through my grief. Working in my garden and on my photographs seem to be two things that totally occupy my mind providing a bit of respite from trying to come to terms with, and redefine, my life. Combining my current state with … Continue reading Stricken
Some of you already know that I recently lost my husband. These last months have been filled with a range of emotions as I struggle through my grief. Working in my garden and on my photographs seem to be two things that totally occupy my mind providing a bit of respite from trying to come to terms with, and redefine, my life. Combining my current state with … Continue reading Shattered
Beyond the Brush 