What women say

I was over at Julia’s place last week and her Friday smile prompted this post. Some of you have may already seen this as it has been around the internet circuit so many times that original authorship is, unfortunately, lost.

All of us, at one time or another, say things we don’t mean … and many of us mean things we don’t say …  and often times we resort to sarcasm, transforming ordinary words through intonation to mean something else entirely.  Perhaps I found this so humorous because I can hear myself in much of it …

 

What women say and what they mean ….

 

 

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

Loud Sigh: This isn’t actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. ‘That’s okay’ means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ … that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

Whatever: This is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

Images from Free Digital Photos

18 thoughts on “What women say

  1. Oh, so true! I chuckled as I read it – one of my “things” is to start a conversation with “alright” or “okay” – which means I’ve been dealing with something that got me going and I’m now ready to state my case and you’d better be ready to listen.

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  2. Oh how a lot of this has so much meaning to a man… but I wish someone would write the correct answers a man must give to all the trick questions that women have…

    “Does my bum look big in this?”
    “Is my bum bigger than hers?”
    “Does this colour suit me?”
    “Is my hair better like this than it was a year ago?”
    “Is her hair better than mine?”
    “Is she pretty?”
    “Has she a better figure than mine?”
    “Do you think she has breast implants?”

    Answer these honestly and you can be in trouble… and this is just the short list…

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